Wether it’s intentional or not, all parents are competitive. Constantly comparing their children to others of the same age, I’m definitely guilty of it! Or bragging about the brand new £800 pram they just bought as they were bored of their old one, BORED!! Then there is the ‘know it all’s’ that completely ignore advice from medical professionals as their way is better. Anyone tries telling me that it’s fine to wean your child at 12 weeks will get a virtual punch to the face. Being a ‘know it all’ can be dangerous, guidelines are in place for a reason and ignoring them can have serious consequences.
When I had my son I was a typical first time mum who would slightly exaggerate my sons accomplishments, saying he was a bit heavier than he was to compete with other mums and their babies.
Now after having Darcie I am proud of her weight gain as she is getting her nutrients from me, but I wouldn’t say she was heavier than what she was. Why wish your child to grow up fast as once they become a toddler you want nothing more than them to be that teeny tiny pink alien looking newborn once more.
Now there are the copy cats, these really infuriate me. It’s also flattering at the same time I suppose. I remember uploading pictures of my sons room saying I was keeping it neutral but having the little accessories and finishing touches in boys colours. Low and behold a few months later I saw someone post the exact same, copied the bedding I had bought and almost wrote word for word what I had! Where is their individuality?
Competitiveness starts even before birth. Everyone compares their pregnancy bumps, who’s is bigger or neater. Who has stretch marks and who doesnt. Then it’s all about who has had the hardest time, crying out for sympathy. (I was DEFINITELY guilty of this with Colby, woops 😂) Yes being in constant pain with your back can restrict what you want to do. But just stop and think about the people that would give anything to be in the pain you’re in just to be able to carry a child.
Then it comes to the birth. I had two natural births that were complete opposite ends of the spectrum. I have friends who have had cesarean sections through no fault of their own. People brand them as ‘too posh to push’ or cheating as they haven’t actually given birth. Because choosing to be cut open and have your baby pulled out of you is the easier option. The recovery afterwards is tiring and draining. It’s hard work just standing up to go for a wee. The 2 weeks paternity leave men get is no where near enough time for the scar to heal. It’s very likely to get infected too. It ruins the bonding time with your baby as you are just so uncomfortable all the time. With natural births, it’s a competition on who has the least amount of pain relief. You pushed your baby out within 20 minutes and had no help, good for you here’s a gold star! I’ll admit having no pain relief can mean you get up and about quicker than someone that has had an epidural. But why does it matter? It’s all ridiculous that this is what life as a mother has become.
Seriously guys, stop trying to be better than the rest. The most important thing is that your children are happy, healthy and spoilt with love. You don’t need brand new all the time, the majority of the stuff we have has been hand me downs or second hand bargains I’ve found in charity shops.
So why can’t we all pull together and congratulate each other on what we are doing well with, not pick out what we are doing wrong.